Monday, July 30, 2012

Checkmate....

I don’t play chess and I would never play love
If life was as simple as paint by color picture or simple games of connect the dots, we could follow the directions to help us finish the perfect picture of how we see our future.

 Unfortunately it is not that easy. Instead our lives are more like a game of chess, with 16 intricate pieces that will affect how the game is played. Each piece has a particular role in the game, just like life. And much like our life, there are two main players, the King and the Queen, and the ultimate objective is to capture the opponent’s kings. However, the King is never captured, and there will come a time when the King is trapped, cannot move without being taken, it’s called Check Mate.

Now the Queen, awe the Queen, she is the most powerful chess piece you have. Since the queen can move whichever way she likes, I would advise you are careful and not give her up too easily, as losing this piece is the most devastating blow a player faces. And unfortunately for love, there is No Knight who will rescue you, No Rook to defend you, No Bishop to guard you, and well Pawns…yes there are Pawns who are there to manipulate you, but it is up to the Queen to know when to handle the situation…or in other words state “Check Mate” and declare the Game Over.

But life isn’t chess, and when we play, we get to a point or a cross roads if this is what you would call it where you decide this is the line. This is as far as I can go. When something hurts more than makes you smile, it’s time for you to be selfish and create a bridge to your heart, except this time, leave a guard out in front to protect you from it happening again. I am the type of person who would do anything for someone I love or care about; I often will put their feelings ahead of my own, because when they are happy, I am happy. Except, when you finally realize that you making them happy makes you hurt, than you must assess the rules of the game and maybe come up with a new set.


What are your rules? What is your self worth? I have personally experienced and have friends right now who fall into the same hurtful habit time and time again. Allowing people back into your life that tear you down emotionally, with their same behaviors, and those 6 steps forward you made, are now 10 steps back. Just with a tattoo or pregnancy, all that pain disappears over time, as well as the memory of the way someone treats you and that is why we allow ourselves to go back for more. If the painful memory remained, we wouldn’t dare tread back to a time, when tears came easier than smiling, where heartache, that painful solid heavy feeling in your chest, reminded you what it feels to love, and where sleepiness nights came easier, because you kept analyzing this imaginary fairy tale you have created in your head. So what can you do??

Determine the Risk… Sometimes the risk is just too great to go any further with this person, or maybe the risk with you is too much for them. The first thing we naturally want to do is pick ourselves apart, but maybe you were just what they wanted but losing you because they weren’t ready wasn’t something they could risk. Maybe it was meant to be, but now….Maybe you can’t be someone’s friend and the person they end up with. I’ve often heard that if you set it free and it returns it’s meant to be, but honestly, I think that in order to fully heal you need to move forward with the intention of them moving on without you as well.

“Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

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