Getting to a point in life where the big things in life no longer consume you can be exhilarating yet very scary. Not in a sense that you feel actual fear, but more of a general understanding of your circumstances, and the numbness that surrounds them is almost awakening.
You are able to take a step back and remove yourself from any and most situations. I guess this could be translated as finally accepting that you cannot control life no matter how hard you have tried in the past.
Accepting this loss of control isn't easy. Of course you will still face your emotions head on, but once you've stepped back and accepted the situation for what it is, you learn that it is supposed to be.
I could tie this to many examples. For me personally, I could use my Air Force career as one. At one time in my career I thrived on turning the worst situations into award winning programs and this was done at an expense of myself and to my children. However, at this point in my life, I can sit back and calmly say, I've done enough and my trip on this road is simply done. I don't want to celebrate it, and I don't want to bask in the moment, I simply want to move on to my next successful journey.
A second example would be getting caught up in the hope for Love or believing that one person must be the one. I've learned over the years that's it's possible to always find "a one" if you are always moving and in the grand scheme of things if you never moved there that person would of never been one. But sometimes you trip over a soul mate, and that's when you definitely just have to let time guide you, but in time...a long time, you realize exactly who they are.
But when you don't....it's pointless to get upset when things don't end up as you plan, because life is about timing. But most importantly about making a conscious choice on your time.
Let's delve into this conscious choice of time a bit...
Think about it, if you were walking down the beach and you saw a golf sized diamond 💎 at the base of your feet, do you think you'd walk by it? I mean seriously.. would you pick up that diamond and think to yourself...hmmm, I just don't think it's the right time for me to find a diamond and sell it and make millions from it and live happily ever after so you toss it into the ocean for someone else to find? Of course not!! 10 out of 10 Individuals would pick up that diamond and feel like they won the lottery.
It's a bit ironic right?
How one could easily tie money to their happiness, and make that decision right away but when it comes to love or finding an amazing person, knowing they are the best for you, you can simply step back and say it's not my time for this and toss them back in the ocean? While bewildering I've come to accept at this freedom of loss of control that it's okay to just not be the one. The truth is something was ultimately missing in the connection. If that was a fear, or sexual, or physical, or culturally, or common interests. One puzzle piece just didn't fit and that's life.
Not being the one does not mean you were not good enough, attractive enough, educated enough...they just knew or you just knew..that throwing a diamond back into the ocean was their decision and you have to respect that and just let it go. Because the next time you wash ashore, there will be someone who treasures what they find. Or sometimes, you will wash ashore again to that same person and they have now learned they'd never take the chance of losing you again, because they know now their love for you is unconditional. You could be a diamond or coal. It doesn't matter because you are invaluable to them.
But until then...You beautiful diamonds out there, embrace the feeling of losing control and allow yourself to sink to the bottom of the ocean, where it's quiet, and still. And allow the undercurrents to move you thru the bits of sand and closer to the shore again while you enjoy your surroundings, ultimately knowing you are the most beautiful thing at the bottom. For the sun will still find your glow and allow you to always illuminate at the surface for another to possibly find.