Love hard, fall fast, and enjoy life!

Do you believe that some people are meant to fall in love with each other but are not meant to be together?  What a crazy statement! I am sure if we knew there was a chance that we wouldn’t work out in the beginning, many of us would never let our Hearts fall. However, I always pass it to the wear and tear of the JOB, and by job I mean relationship.  Anyone who has been married or in a serious relationship knows that after the initial fairy tale of love wears off, then the butterflies you once felt now becomes something you have to work for.  How unfortunate right? From experience, when I am first with someone, I fall hard and fast.  In my past, I have not listened to my gut and went forward into full fledge relationships or marriage.  I thought that I was doing the right thing.  According to society, I am an adult now and I must grow up!  I should get married and have children.  And for any of my Military peeps out there, I know you understand when I say, awwww…I have been dating him for 7 months and now he has orders, so we should get married to stay together.  Looking back at my experiences now, it all seems so rushed.  I feel that I never did the right thing for me, but more as the right thing for a situation.  I wanted to move out of the dorms, I wanted a house, I wanted a ring, I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to have a family, I wanted to own things…blah.. blah..blah..and in the end..All my wants never fulfilled my feelings or myself, and once you want your SELF back fully filled, you realize you could have done this all on your own.  Now in no way am I saying that some people don’t meet their soul mate, and it’s happily ever after. And I am definitely not saying that love is something that doesn’t have its ups and downs and you must work to make a relationship work.  Oh I am fully aware of this.  What I am saying though, is sometimes, we individuals are too damaged to make it happen anymore.  We need that independence to put our LIFE’s back into perspective.  It was once broken down to me by a boyfriend, which said “Everyone comes into your life for a REASON, SEASON, or a LIFETIME.

REASON: Life can bring you down, and sometimes meeting someone during this period can help you thru a situation that you may not been able to handle on your own.  They were your strength, your backbone, or your motivation to push you thru an obstacle.  They were there to show you what is out there, how you could be treated, or how you shouldn’t be treated. But never less, they were there for a reason. When you received your answer, or maybe they received their answer, you were no longer beneficial to each other. It was time for your heart to move on.

SEASON: At other times, it feels right! And this Season may last thru the 4 month era into years.  I mean look at our life expectancy, so a season to me, could be a decade if that is what you want it to be.  I had my season. My ex husband and I were together for 10 years.  We watched each other grow, we watched our family grow, and at a point I knew, that my season was over.  I was walking the steps of life, and I wanted to be fully engaged. What a scary step! Being on your own again, learning to date again, finding what truly makes you tick, so that when that Lifetime comes around, you are full, and don’t need them to complete you.

LIFETIME: Oh now for the lifetime! This is someone you can see yourself getting old with.  To me a NOW… Lifetime is your best friend.  He is someone I enjoy, makes me laugh, and someone I can talk to. I have a personal thought on this and many of you may disagree, but I want my lifetime to be my one and only.  I want him to be my best friend. I want our relationship to come first. Now, I don’t say this to mean I will love my children any less, but in Love with your partner, if you put your partner second, how do you move them to first when the children leave. How is that fair? And what better way to raise your children, then for them to see a man and woman truly love each other, stay actively in love, and they know that you are a team first. Honestly, I don’t think I have a lifetime. I don’t say that for sympathy, it is just what I feel.  I love hard, I am passionate, and I want to give someone the world. At the same time I want the world back.  When I meet someone that is willing to give that, then maybe I will change my mind, but until then, I will love my life, enjoy my children, and make memories with them, because in the end, they are who matter the most.

So in the end, Reason, Season, Lifetime…It doesn’t really make a difference, we are all learning experiences for each other, and like I always life to say…Just because there is nothing wrong with it, doesn’t mean it’s right.  Love hard, fall fast, and enjoy life!