Life after you, and you, and you....
Taking back your heart and what you’re willing to give to
the world is the most rewarding feeling I have ever encountered in my
life. I don’t see any of my experiences
as failures, but I feel that they were put in front of me to take bits of
lessons and apply them to where I am now.
I’ve made a few mistakes over the last 2 years since my divorce. Some personal and some professional, but “Hey”…isn’t
that expected when we are learning. We don’t
tell our children they will never walk, or carry them throughout their lives
when they take those first steps. No! They fall down, and we gently pick them back
up and tell them to do it again. This is
what I have done, and what I urge anyone who is feeling overwhelmed or any sense
of failure in your life. We learn a lot
in the Air Force. One thing that is
ingrained in our minds are the four components of wellness. They are Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, and
Social. When we are at one with these
four areas, our soul is sound. And there
will be times when one area is completely F@$#d up, and that’s when you know, it’s
time to take your life back. Let’s
discuss…..
Spiritual-I have many friends who are very spiritual and
others that are not. I don’t believe
this focuses on the bible nor any other lord you may worship. What I think spiritual wellness refers to, is
knowing exactly what you want and who you are.
Not being afraid to take a chance, even if it’s the scariest thing you
have done your whole life. Because in
the end, you never fail. You would never
know if you succeeded unless you tried, and in my opinion, trying is
NEVER failing. Like I said earlier, we never
think a toddler fails when he falls learning to walk, so why are we so hard on
ourselves. The bottom line measure here,
is loving yourself first. When you find
love in yourself, you will experience something unconditional. You know longer linger for a text, fret when
you don’t hear from someone, or doubt yourself.
Because you love you. And if they
love you, they’ll come around, and if they don’t , thank the God you do or don
t believe in that they have allowed you to move on.
Emotional-…….hmmmm….do I go at a woman’s approach here or a man’s. I recently asked a question to my men out
there how they feel about women. Is sex
like going to gym? Do they have to be attracted to a woman to sleep with her?
And how do we know if a man ever really even liked us and simply wasn’t just
using us for sex. We women are some
emotional freaks. It boils down to cave
man times, while during sex a serotonin is released from our brain that
attaches us to the man we are sleeping with.
Well WOMEN, if you want to act like a man, think like one, THEN START
ACTING LIKE A LADY. Case in point, we WILL
NEVER be men. We will never get what we want, by allowing
someone to use us. Realize WE run the game. We decide if we want you or not. If they don’t put in the effort, well they didn’t
want you bad enough. I would rather lose
someone thru texting because I didn’t give it up, then give it up, develop
feelings, and linger for their responses.
Once you find this, you don’t care who texts you anymore. You are so self-confident in who you are and
what you can give to someone, that you wake up everyday, and text yourself Good
Morning Beautiful! I kid….But seriously,
God it feels good. My last point here,
is quit tearing yourself apart about what was wrong with you. A great quality of mine, is I am friends with
almost every guy I have semi-dated or really dated in the past two years. Well that’s if I want to be. And the bottomline, while most of them are
the ones who pulled away first, I have learned that it was never about me. It was them, where they were at in their lives. And this is confirmation to me, because I never
reach back to an ex. EVER….I’m stubborn that way, but I’m also very grateful,
they came back into mine to teach and reaffirm any doubts I had when I was
weak.
Physical-We all struggle on the physical side. We never feel were enough, and we are the
most judgmental of ourselves. INCLUDING
ME!!! Here’s honesty… I weighed in yesterday at 135 lbs. EEEEKKKKK! Now I know I have a lot of friends who would
love to weigh 135 pounds, but for me, I am DYING. I embrace my curves, my butt is def getting
bigger, which I LOVE lol…but I really love being 125 lbs. I don’t know it is about that number, but I
feel my best at it. So it doesn’t matter
what shape magazine wants you to be, what your partner wants, what your
personal trainer wants, because in the end, if you don’t want it…ITS NOT GOING
TO HAPPEN!! You will motivate
yourself. And ask a friend. Many people probably admire everything about
you. They love your shape, they love
your curves, and many men or women lol…think you are attractive. Recent story…I’m feeling like shit, 10 lbs
heavier than normal, but still looking good ;-)…met a couple a girls at class,
who have become good friends of mine in the last few weeks, and they come up to
me the first time we met, and was like “I want your body”…Now while I’m over
here, tearing myself apart…I’m motivating others to do well for
themselves. So take a second look
sometimes. While I love my jeans…and my
besties KNOW I love ‘em tight! If I want it bad enough, I’ll lose it, and if I don’t,
well I still know I’m a motivator for others.
Social-I LOVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! I love the extroverts, I
love the introverts, I love the controllers, and I love the followers. We make up a pretty interesting world. And without a few of each one, chaos would break
OUT!!! Can you imagine everyone in your
social group being introverted or controlling.
Man, I think we would either die of silence or fight for power. The dynamics of friendship are amazing. And having a few good friends is much better
than having a lot of peeps. Think of
friends like a relationship. If you are
giving more and they don’t give anything, then it’s time to move on. We’ve all had the good and the bad, all I’m
saying is with age, the less are more sturdy and you know you can depend on
them. I would just say….there is always
someone who needs you. Don’t be judgmental. Never is anyone too good for someone
else. There are times, that we just need
someone to listen to us. Keep that in
mind next time you are too busy to talk to someone you know or even your child.
So since I am asking you to be vulnerable in a sense, I will
be vulnerable too. Coco Channel wraps me
up in a nutshell, and any man you ask about me will say exactly what is below,
and in the end…I’m still learning to walk….
“It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would
be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if
he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him. I’m
neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve
been in business without being a businesswoman; I’ve loved without being a
woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on
earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern
and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without
precepts, but with a taste for justice.”
― Coco Chanel
― Coco Chanel
