Unconditional Love…a form of love I didn’t think existed except between you and your children. The day I had my children, although I had no clue on how to be a Mom, the moment they were born, I had an undying love for them. I knew I would give my life for them if it ever came. Waking up in the middle of the night, getting peed on, and tantrums never changed how I felt for them. It makes me wonder that if you can feel this for your child, why you can’t feel this for your partner. How many people out there believe in love at first sight? Or how many couples truly put their relationship first once you have children. I think a big problem when people get married is they don’t know how to balance all the hats they are forced to wear. When I had my children, I was a wife, a new mother, an Airman, a supervisor, a friend, a sister, and a daughter. I was forced to wear all these hats with little experience, and it seemed that they just kept adding up. Until…in the end you ultimately forget who you really are. You forget the biggest hat to wear and that is yourself. Finding yourself is a task. I have learned you can’t just erase one of these many hats and TADAAA you are back! Nope, you are even more lost, because what you have identified with for so long is no longer there, and like a puzzle it takes time to put yourself back together again.
During this period of finding yourself, you will experience many emotions. Not sure how to handle the new people in your life. Learning that not everyone will give you what you are used to getting from a real relationship. And ultimately, judging how much you are willing to give on your behalf again without repeating the vicious cycle you were in. But once you get there, to a point where you find your happiness again, know what you want, and are willing to get it. Do you believe that you can experience unconditional love for your partner? And what is it you want from them? Do you want a best friend? Are you looking for a provider? Do you want someone who enhances yourself and lets you be you? Do you have the same interests? Can you talk about anything? Will they let you cry when you need to cry, and sit and not judge you? The reason I ask these questions is because every day we all share picture images on FACEBOOK about what we want or what we haven’t been given and many quotes are based off these questions. But my question to you today is Do you believe you are entitled to unconditional love? Because if you don’t believe then you will never find it.
I didn’t used to believe in unconditional love with a partner. I felt that that was a love that had to be nurtured, groomed, changes over time, and eventually, might fade away. And it’s not so much that I believe in it now, but my view on it has changed. When I find that person to love unconditionally, I know now that it’s not what they do that makes me love them less, however it is what I am looking for. If I sit and concentrate on the negative things, ultimately that is what I will get in the end......An unloving relationship.
I have the power to adjust my vision and ultimately my future. You create your own reality. In the beginning, relationships are normally very good, because we are focused on the good and what we want to see. But over time, we begin to notice things we do not want, and in turn are given this. When we believe we can’t have everything in a relationship, we tend to settle for a relationship where we are not getting everything we want. Sometimes until you become part of a relationship you do not want, you are not really clear about what you really do like. Thus people choose not to believe they can have everything they want. So we tend to put up with stuff we really do not want. However, in this, you attract relationships that satisfy some of your wants, but not others. And later in the relationship you discover that those minor qualities were very important, and the lack of having them satisfied leaves you feeling empty.
Unconditional love can be achieved if you believe. Choose not to see the negative emotion, because if that is your focus, that is what you shall receive. It is not your partner’s fault that you are seeing what is negative emotions. It takes you paying attention to what you are wanting. Appreciate SELF! Be selfish! Is the word “self” not within the word selfish? Allow yourself to feel positive emotions and you shall feel unconditional love. There is great love for you here.
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