Thursday, April 25, 2013

Learning to Walk Sets you FREE! Now its's Time to DANCE!!!


Life after you, and you, and you....

Taking back your heart and what you’re willing to give to the world is the most rewarding feeling I have ever encountered in my life.  I don’t see any of my experiences as failures, but I feel that they were put in front of me to take bits of lessons and apply them to where I am now.  I’ve made a few mistakes over the last 2 years since my divorce.  Some personal and some professional, but “Hey”…isn’t that expected when we are learning.  We don’t tell our children they will never walk, or carry them throughout their lives when they take those first steps.  No!  They fall down, and we gently pick them back up and tell them to do it again.  This is what I have done, and what I urge anyone who is feeling overwhelmed or any sense of failure in your life.  We learn a lot in the Air Force.  One thing that is ingrained in our minds are the four components of wellness.  They are Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, and Social.  When we are at one with these four areas, our soul is sound.  And there will be times when one area is completely F@$#d up, and that’s when you know, it’s time to take your life back.  Let’s discuss…..

Spiritual-I have many friends who are very spiritual and others that are not.  I don’t believe this focuses on the bible nor any other lord you may worship.  What I think spiritual wellness refers to, is knowing exactly what you want and who you are.  Not being afraid to take a chance, even if it’s the scariest thing you have done your whole life.  Because in the end, you never fail.  You would never know if you succeeded unless you tried, and in my opinion, trying is NEVER failing.  Like I said earlier, we never think a toddler fails when he falls learning to walk, so why are we so hard on ourselves.  The bottom line measure here, is loving yourself first.  When you find love in yourself, you will experience something unconditional.  You know longer linger for a text, fret when you don’t hear from someone, or doubt yourself.  Because you love you.  And if they love you, they’ll come around, and if they don’t , thank the God you do or don t believe in that they have allowed you to move on.

Emotional-…….hmmmm….do I go at a woman’s approach here or a man’s.  I recently asked a question to my men out there how they feel about women.  Is sex like going to gym? Do they have to be attracted to a woman to sleep with her? And how do we know if a man ever really even liked us and simply wasn’t just using us for sex.  We women are some emotional freaks.  It boils down to cave man times, while during sex a serotonin is released from our brain that attaches us to the man we are sleeping with.  Well WOMEN, if you want to act like a man, think like one, THEN START ACTING LIKE A LADY.  Case in point, we WILL NEVER  be men.  We will never get what we want, by allowing someone to use us. Realize WE run the game.  We decide if we want you or not.  If they don’t put in the effort, well they didn’t want you bad enough.  I would rather lose someone thru texting because I didn’t give it up, then give it up, develop feelings, and linger for their responses.  Once you find this, you don’t care who texts you anymore.  You are so self-confident in who you are and what you can give to someone, that you wake up everyday, and text yourself Good Morning Beautiful!  I kid….But seriously, God it feels good.  My last point here, is quit tearing yourself apart about what was wrong with you.  A great quality of mine, is I am friends with almost every guy I have semi-dated or really dated in the past two years.  Well that’s if I want to be.  And the bottomline, while most of them are the ones who pulled away first, I have learned that it was never about me.  It was them, where they were at in their lives.  And this is confirmation to me, because I never reach back to an ex. EVER….I’m stubborn that way, but I’m also very grateful, they came back into mine to teach and reaffirm any doubts I had when I was weak.

Physical-We all struggle on the physical side.  We never feel were enough, and we are the most judgmental of ourselves.  INCLUDING ME!!! Here’s honesty… I weighed in yesterday at 135 lbs. EEEEKKKKK!  Now I know I have a lot of friends who would love to weigh 135 pounds, but for me, I am DYING.  I embrace my curves, my butt is def getting bigger, which I LOVE lol…but I really love being 125 lbs.  I don’t know it is about that number, but I feel my best at it.  So it doesn’t matter what shape magazine wants you to be, what your partner wants, what your personal trainer wants, because in the end, if you don’t want it…ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!  You will motivate yourself.  And ask a friend.  Many people probably admire everything about you.  They love your shape, they love your curves, and many men or women lol…think you are attractive.  Recent story…I’m feeling like shit, 10 lbs heavier than normal, but still looking good ;-)…met a couple a girls at class, who have become good friends of mine in the last few weeks, and they come up to me the first time we met, and was like “I want your body”…Now while I’m over here, tearing myself apart…I’m motivating others to do well for themselves.  So take a second look sometimes.  While I love my jeans…and my besties KNOW I love ‘em tight! If I want it bad enough, I’ll lose it, and if I don’t, well I still know I’m a motivator for others.

Social-I LOVE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!! I love the extroverts, I love the introverts, I love the controllers, and I love the followers.  We make up a pretty interesting world.  And without a few of each one, chaos would break OUT!!!  Can you imagine everyone in your social group being introverted or controlling.  Man, I think we would either die of silence or fight for power.  The dynamics of friendship are amazing.  And having a few good friends is much better than having a lot of peeps.  Think of friends like a relationship.  If you are giving more and they don’t give anything, then it’s time to move on.  We’ve all had the good and the bad, all I’m saying is with age, the less are more sturdy and you know you can depend on them.  I would just say….there is always someone who needs you.  Don’t be judgmental.  Never is anyone too good for someone else.  There are times, that we just need someone to listen to us.  Keep that in mind next time you are too busy to talk to someone you know or even your child.

So since I am asking you to be vulnerable in a sense, I will be vulnerable too.  Coco Channel wraps me up in a nutshell, and any man you ask about me will say exactly what is below, and in the end…I’m still learning to walk….

“It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him.   I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman; I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.”
Coco Chanel

 

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