I felt compelled today to discuss how much you are willing
to let someone run your mind. What I
mean by this, is at what point you move forward on your own and let go of your
past. We all have painful and merry
experiences which have placed us where we are at this point in our lives,
however, sometimes we continue to relive the pain. I honestly believe this time will be
different. That we are smarter now and we wouldn’t let the person who had hurt
us in the past do it again. I think we
do this because we ultimately want to treat others the way we would like to be
treated ourselves. I choose not to be
angry at someone who has hurt me. I have
learned that I would rather let go of the circumstances, and move forward. I
always give someone a fresh start. I choose not to judge and think the best in
everyone. Some individuals may mistake
this for a weakness, however, I know it is not something I should change, but
instead, this characteristic is something I should embrace. So many of us don’t know how to let go and we
would rather fill our lives with drama then simply be happy. I don’t think there is a solution to this,
except at some point I think you have to give up on that person. If you were built to love like I am, there is
nothing that will change who you are.
You will always love the way you know how. Kindness begets love and respect. The right person will love this about you,
and the wrong person will miss this amazing characteristic. I believe it’s
important to follow your path, and if someone does not show you the same
respect you show to them, then you need to think more with your mind and less
with your heart. In no way am I saying
play games, but show them what it feels like to be left out. It is equally and
even more important for you to realize that not everyone deserves to feel your
love. A true and honest friend or lover
will earn that and reciprocate your actions. You should never feel weak or taken advantage
of when you do something special for someone.
I say this because I have felt it. Buying a card only to wonder to
yourself, is this a little too much.
Texting a message and your heart dropping after you send it because it
took 20 minutes – to hours for the person to reply. What is the learning curve here? Thru my experience, I have learned that you
should often have the benefit of the doubt in the beginning. Try not to set expectations, and enjoy what
you have in front of you. I used to let
someone new in my life become the center of my attention. This is no longer the case. My mind no longer dwells, but instead I have
learned to separate what and who is important.
I miss them, but not the way I used to.
I have finally accepted that because I enjoy someone at a certain point
in my life, they were there to show me what I truly want in the next. So if you are sitting at home on this lovely
weekend and the past has encapsulated your mind, remind yourself that you pay
for what you get. If you spent $250 on
this amazing dress you wanted and by the end of the night the seams were
ripping, would you buy that brand again? No I think not. So what are you going
to “pay” with your self worth, for someone who does not deserve your time? The
dress will not get any better and neither will this person who hurt you. Keep your eyes forward, and You Choose to not
look behind. There is a reason this
person was in your life, and sometimes you need to accept, that their time is
over. Keep your head up; there is great love for you here.
I was suffering the net and somehow ran across this post. I decided to read it. And well-said, good job, I commend you. It looks like you put a lot of thought into what you wrote. I just had a question; because you know the problem with eye for an eye is that everyone ends up blind. So if a person is constantly running away from issues and leave those they deem unworthy, at what point do you stand and fight and or keep someone in your life. Because at one point if you are constantly discarding people they will all leave you alone. Unlike merchandise, which you can force to be around you by buying them, forcing people never really works out well. As well as, if you avoid an issue, well is history teaches us anything is that things are cyclical if not resolved. Yet, as for the premise, I adore it. Again thank you for sharing your point of view.
ReplyDeleteShould you need to FIGHT to keep someone in your life?
ReplyDeleteWe all fight in our own way. A person picking up the phone, texting, and email another human is fighting to keep whatever connection they believe is there. Any effort towards something is the fight. Many only see going toe to toe as fighting, but its not the only way. If there were only one way to do things life would be simpler. My question focuses more on, why not switch how you fight, In other words the interactions. And since it is within each of us to do so, it would be the most effective and beneficial. To allude that if you must fight for something it is not worth I am not sure is the best thing. Moreover, at no time does this mean one should be denigrated, the dynamic just needs to change not so much be severed. But great question. Gandhi fought with silence, education, love, understanding, appreciation and things of that nature. So it is humanly possible to not turn people away and live happy. We just need to switch paradigms to ones like Gandhi. Again, great question and thank you for the chance to speak.
ReplyDeleteMike, thank you for your comments. I simply love your outake, and may have to blog on your stance as well. Too me, when fighting for someone to be in your life becomes more of a negative than a positive, then I would question, is this person really worth your effort. At some point, your efforts need to be recognized. I think you make valid points though especially with Gandhi's outlook. Very true outlook and well worth discussion. Happy reading and I hope you stop by again!
ReplyDeleteI agree, unrequited love does suck… My thing is that it should never become a negative because once you begin to see the relationship sliding down, then the way in which it is handled, must change. That’s how married couples stay married. Because trust me there are times when a married couple detest and want to kill one another. Its all about how the relationship alters. It is kind of like if you smash for finger. It hurts like crazy, do you cut it of. It is a negative and at the moment it outweighs the positive of keeping it. If you cut it off you will never deal with it again. You could replace it with a prosthetic; it just won’t be your finger or do what you need. Nonetheless, I agree. At some point you might just need to give up. But not because the negative out ways the positive, but because a person just gives up. We are at our wits end. There are billions of things in life that the negative out way the positive, but we still keep trekking. Its part of the adventure. What I have come to understand is that something is only negative if you say it is. If you just deal with it as is and stay solution orientated, things tend to workout better and don’t gravitae toward the negative. But I get your point; in order to want to put in work we want something in return. Whether it is love, acknowledgement, appreciation or some tangible thing. That way we can feel that our efforts are worth it. Sometimes I too believe altruism is overrated and we should think of what can you do for me. But when does a person turn it off and actually care? There are many instances were things appear not to be reciprocated. Nonetheless, I’m on your level, I got cha. You make perfect sense. Sometimes you just got to through in the towel and pray you never ask, what if? Thanks for putting your thoughts out in the ether. This is pretty cathartic; your blog is the first I have responded to. Thanks for the opportunity. Thanks for the invitation and the sunny disposition, sometimes that is all you need.
ReplyDelete